Building healthy relationships between the mothers and children at Kamira AOD services
THOMAS, 2005:5; GRAY, 2002:15 HIGHLIGHTED THATThe importance of healthy relationships between mothers and their children at AOD services need special attention. When we refer to healthy relationships at Kamira AOD service it will be in the context of the mother and child’s attachment relationship, as this will be the most crucial aspect in the children’s lives impacting their future relationships and emotional development and wellbeing.
Children under the age of eight have always been welcomed to reside at Kamira. However, over time it became evident that the children needed more than childcare on site as they presented with attachment and behavioural problems. Their mothers frequently come from a trauma background or have mental health conditions as well as substance use problems. The children have often lived with traumatic experiences such as domestic violence, neglect and abuse and have parents who were most likely emotionally unavailable to them. This can result in attachment difficulties.
Attachment issues can often present in children as behavioural difficulties, being withdrawn, emotional regulation problems, sensory integration problems, hyperactivity, PTSD and other diagnosis such as ADHD.
Thomas, 2005:5; Gray, 2002:15 highlighted that:
“Attachment between caregivers and their children stands out as a paramount aspect when working with children and their caregivers as these important relations between self and others will impact all future relationship."
Literature and previous studies suggest that secure attachments with loving, reliable and protective caregivers forms a crucial foundation in the caregiver-and-child-relationship and for the healthy development of children.
Looking at the above information it is therefore a priority that mothers and children have support in their attachment relationship with each other. This is the reason that Kamira changed from providing childcare for these children to providing an attachment based program for the children and their mothers that focuses on strengthening attachment.
We have found that working on healthy attachment relationships enables the mothers and children to re-connect, strengthen the child’s sense of trust and security and in some cases set the scene for trauma therapy (play therapy) for the child.
As part of the Kamira’s child and family program mothers are required to attend the Circle of Security group, a relationship based parenting course. Mothers with babies also attend the infant massage group where they learn how to attach and bond with their baby through nurturing touch, being sensitive and responding to their baby’s unique cues.
In terms of therapeutic work with the mothers and children, we facilitate attachment based activities between the mothers and their children. Our attachment based treatment plan is guided by our initial assessments of the child’s socio-emotional development, sensory and regulation preferences, attachment relationship, the child’s temperament and the history of the child.
We recently had a mother Nadine and her four year old son Peter with us at Kamira. Peter presented with anger towards his mother and with challenging behaviours. During the five months of being at Kamira, Peter’s mother has learnt to make changes in her parenting. She learned to validate Peter’s feelings and to guide his tantrums and behaviour in a way that supports their relationship.
Attachment based therapy with Nadine and Peter has focused on playful, fun, trusting and nurturing activities through sensory and interactive play. It is very helpful in the healing and repairing of ruptured attachments to use repeated cycles of arousal and calming play as well as regressive play. This re-enacts positive development phases and unmet emotional needs in children’s lives. Nadine was guided by staff into interactions where she was able to rock Peter, feed him, nurture him and meeting his earlier unmet developmental needs. Peter responded well to these activities. The attachment between Peter and his mother was strengthened and Peter’s aggression towards his mother changed drastically and he developed more age- appropriate behaviour.
Our hope at Kamira is that more AOD services will invite children into their program and enable these mothers and children to repair their ruptured relationships. Not only will there be healing for the mother and child, but this could be an empowering way to start to dislodge age-old patterns and cycles of dysfunction resulting in addiction.
